Seeing God through My Children

My children bring so much joy to my life. I asked a friend of mine, who now has a 1 yr old, if she could even imagine life without her little girl. It is amazing how much different you view the world when you are looking at it through the eyes of His children. When we just went to the exotic zoo, it was awesome to see Becca's surprise and joy at seeing the animals up close. She was awed at God's creation and so was I. But seeing her awe was way more impressive. Shouldn't we be the same in our spiritual walk? Shouldn't we be in awe of seeing people find Jesus and have the peace that we have through Christ. I know that there is not a day that goes by I have to return to His peace that passes all understanding. Today I was reading Matthew 18 and what a powerful message is in that one chapter! WOW! Jesus puts it all out there on how we are to treat one another. The most amazing thing in there that touched me today, was that we are to come to Him, like children. With the innocence of the child. They don't ever doubt Him. They don't over think it. Just like the song, "Jesus loves me this I know. For the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong. They are weak but he is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves. THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO. The Bible says it, so it is so. That is how we should be and we should be illuminating Him in all that we do.

A Wow Week

For starters, I have been off of my beloved diet Dr. Peppers for 2 weeks now. Longer than I have ever given them up and sugar has not been a problem either. It is funny, I always thought I was way more addicted than Phillip, but he is having a harder time than me.

We started Spring Break with the girls all going to grandparents. Phillip and I had grand plans to demo out a bathroom and get stuff done. Well we had the bathroom and all the laundry done by noon on Sat so we took a little nap. Four hours later, Phillip woke me up and decided we should go to Abilene and have a date. It was so amazing. God met us there. He spoke through this man we were sitting with at Bonzai. We were headed to Carino's and I asked if we could switch and I am so glad we did. You sit with random people and Phillip can talk to anyone. We start talking to this man and it was seriously some of the most reassuring things coming out of his mouth. He had no idea what was going on in our lives and the things he said were all God. Thank you Lord, for meeting us there.

Sunday we had church and then headed to Abilene again for lunch and a movie, then home for another 2 hr nap and then over to Tique and Stacy's to cook out. Monday we got the girls and had a good evening with them.

Tuesday, I started the day with 2 Dr appts. One with an opthamalogist and then neurologist. The optho was able to see that my eyes were not responding as they should. They are weak and that is why they don't focus correctly or dilate correctly. Then I saw my neuro and he said much of the same with the vision stuff and there is really no therapy to make it better. He said I could wear prisms over my eyes that might help but he didn't think that I would wear them. He said all of the things that I am going through is directly related to my brain damage. Not always being able to recognize people, not being able to recognize things if I am moving, not being able to handle loud noises, not being able to follow things quickly, forgetfulness (forgot to put Becca's diaper on the other day and daddy got a surprise), speech issues are all related to that. He said he is amazed at what I push through and do. I told him, no one ever said I should stop. So he said, "Okay, stop. Slow down. Get more sleep. 7 hr of sleep is not enough for you. You need 10". I said oops, I have been getting 5-6. He didn't sound as optimistic that things would improve much more either.

Then we headed to Craig and Fallon's for a break from this insanity we find ourselves living in right now. I didn't answer my phone and tried to get Phillip not too. We get bad news everyday and it can really break you. I feel broken and I didn't want that. We had a wonderful time. We went to some water falls, we went to Gruin and took some family photos and then to an exotic zoo and Longhorn Caverns. It was so nice. Seeing my children laughing. Seeing Becca get a handful of feed and run after the baby deer, squealing trying to give them feed and then shaking in terror. Becca hugging a baby deer. Absolutely precious.

It was so nice to see the beauty of God surrounding us. Praise the Lord for all He does for me!

Now, if I could just get us unpacked.

Lent

Lent begins tomorrow. I looked up Lent from Wikipedia and it is defined as a time of sacrifice to Jesus. The traditional purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer-through prayer, penitence , alms giving and self-denial- for the annual commemoration of Holy Week of the Death and Resurrection of Jesus. Conventionally is is described as 40 days long. The 40 days represent the time that, according to the Bible, Jesus spent in the dessert before the beginning of his public ministry, where he endured temptation by Satan.

To truly experience Lent, one must truly give up something that is important to them. It would not be difficult for me to give up smoking or drinking because I don't ever do any of those things. The things that we are supposed to give up are things that can help us draw strength from Him and that will bring us closer to Him. Therefore, I am giving up my beloved sweets and diet sodas. I have tried many a time, but do it on my own terms and with my own strength which is greatly lacking. So, I will have to spend even more time in the Word and more reliance on His strength because I really have very little. I will also be giving up video games. I know it sounds silly for a pastor's wife to need to give such things up and I don't spend much time playing Kaylee's DSi but it has been a way for me to veg out and numb out and I could spend that time on much more useful things for Him. I ask for you to pray for me on this journey because I know it will not be easy. But I am equally as sure that it was not easy for our Heavenly Father to give up His Son to die on the cross for me. The sacrifice He gave is something that is so hard for me to even fathom. I am in awe of His love for me. A woman who is so undeserving. I will learn to grow closer to Him through this experience. I will rely on His strength and not my own. I encourage you to journey with me. The reward will far out way the price.

I can do all things through Christ, who give me Strength!!

All in a day

I was looking at my calendar yesterday and realized my March calendar looks more full than my December calendar did. I like business but not the "I can't catch my breath" business. But that is what we have. I have about 8 loads of laundry that need doing, dishes to be washed, a bathroom to gut and redo and 2 bedrooms that are waiting to be redone. Not to mention, that my family enjoys home-cooked meals and a somewhat clean house. Plus, now we have softball sign-ups.

I have decided that God is purposefully keeping me busy so that I don't have to dwell on what is happening around me at times. Because there are far more things to give God glory for than to be unsettled about. But don't the unsettling things always yell louder than the rest.

God paints a canvas of promises to us in His word. I have never been more close to Him. "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you WILL have trouble. But take HEART! I have OVERCOME THE WORLD!" John 16:33 I see rainbows all over the place and they consistently remind me of His promises. That He is with me all of the time. It is all in our perspective on how we chose to handle it. I feel really bad for those that have never turned to God when they are struggling. Honestly, I don't see how they function. With God on my side, who can be against me? I have learned to lean more on God, rather than family and friends and church. They are all human and even those with the best intentions can at times let you down. I sometimes put people on such a pedestal that they can't help but not live up to our standards. But those are our standards, not necessarily the standards or duties that God has for them. I know that I need to look at seeing people through the eyes that God seems them. Look at them with grace and mercy and love. If we would all do this, how awesome would our world be? So that is my goal for this year. To see people the way God see's His children.