Random Pics

Becca is loving her cake!

Becca Loving on Griff. Griff afraid for his life

Becca scrounging for food.

My beauties in the bluebonnet field.

Easter 2010!

More Stroke Info

I went and saw my neurologist last week. He now says that the vision and vertigo issues could last up to 5 years. Some days are 'normal' other days are not. Tonight while putting laundry from the washer to the dryer, I almost fell over and then proceeded to break out in a cold sweat and get dizzy and nauseated. NO fun. I never know when it will get triggered. I know laundry is hard for me but it is so frustrating. At the same time, complaining will not make it any better so I just keep on, keeping on.
The doctor said that I actually did have a clot in my interior cerebellar artery and that it could have been catastrophic. Thankfully it was not and I chose to live each day to its fullest. Lately it has been really tough with what the world is dishing out but we are making do.
He said that he is very concerned about my heart. We are waiting on the 30 day cardiac monitor results to come in. He was disappointed my cardiologist was out of town until next week but what do you do. Everyone deserves a break. He said he doesn't mean to scare me, but he is very concerned but very please with my progress and my positive attitude.
It is crazy the things that bother me. I was trying to watch a picture video and I never could see the images. The styaed abstract because they wouldn't give me time to focus. I hadn't realized how much time I was taking to focus.
All in all...God is Good. SO good. He has blessed me with an amazing husband. There are few men that measure up to him. He is a man after God's heart and an amazing husband who treats me as a treasure and a fantastic daddy that has three little girls that think he is a super hero. God has blessed me. He will continue to bless me and I am so thankful to be called a child of the king.

No Regrets

I have worked many years in health care. As a home health nurse, I would sit and visit with many of my patients. It was so sad to hear so many of them talk about their regrets in life. Many of those that had lost their spouse would say, "I should have told her that she was beautiful more and that I truly loved them" or that they should have said yes to this or that. It was so hard and the men seemed to feel more quilt.

Last night, I told Phillip that no matter what happens to me, I have no regrets and that I could not be a happier wife and mother. He has treated me like the princess my dad would have wanted for his daughter. I feel cherished and loved unconditionally.

It is so hard for me to be 'taken care of' by him. He looks out for me in ways that I am not even looking for. When we went to San Antonio we went to the River Walk. He wouldn't let me walk by the river and he held onto me the whole time. The only reason I even knew was because I was walking by the river for a second and he said," You don't need to walk there". I was like, "oh". Yesterday while walking up stadium steps, I got dizzy because you look up and down and that really makes me sick, so he grabs my arm like they do the little old ladies. He is my protector and I am thankful but feel so bad that he has to do that at such a young age. I just don't like it one bit, but not liking my situation, doesn't change anything so I might as well accept it.

I am continually reminded that I need to look to God. He is in control. He knows my frustrations and fears. He knows that I want to make sure Phillip knows how to put up a pony-tail and braid just in case I am not there to do it. I want them all prepared. I know that I my children don't necessarily need me, but I want to be there to raise them. I know God would take care of my family and there is peace in that but I talk to Him a lot about my desire to raise my children and grow old with my husband. Of course He knows and it is amazing what a friend He has become.

God is good...All the time!

I DON'T Want to Eat Brussel

I don't want to eat brussel sprouts nor do I want to be a 33 year old stroke patient. At the same time, I will eat mybrussel sprouts, ie: stroke. I have decided to come back to the world of blogging because there is so much on my heart and I know that there may be someone else out there that needs to hear what God is laying on my heart. So I have decided to answer his call and write. I am not a writer by far so don't pass too much judgement. I am simply a mom and preacher's wife who is doing her best to give God the glory for all that happens in my life...the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Eight years ago today, I was being prepped for my first of three c-sections where I was going to meet my Kaylee. When she was born, the doctor said, "It's a little lady". Our life has never been the same. I thank God that He gave us Kaylee, Reese and Becca. You see, I never wanted girls because girls are mean to each other but I also always prayed that God would complete our family. He started a little earlier than we expected but of course, He knew best.

It has been 11 weeks today since I had my stoke. Things to be thankful for from the get-go. We had been trying to sell our car for 6 months and that day we sold it. So those payments get to go to medical bills, YEAH! Not really but a blessing. I am actually thankful they did not find out that I had a stroke day 1. I would not have liked to have been in the hospital and that would have cost a lot more. I am thankful for diligent doctors. They all are perplexed on the whys but I don't have to know the whys. I have to know that I can glorify God in that he saved me that night.

My initial fear has been replaced by frustration. I am frustrated that I am doing the same therapy as the 70 year old men and they do some of it better. I am frustrated that I cannot remember where I put things. I am frustrated that my vision is still causing me problems. I am frustrated that I am frustrated.

However, I have decided that being frustrated is not going to change the circumstances. I will continue to smile and Praise the Lord for everyday I get to be with my husband and girls. I am thankful that God allows me to minister to others. I am thankful for all the beauty He puts around us. I am thankful for little girl giggles and hugs. I am thankful for the Sonic drinks my husband brings me. I am thankful.