No news

So far every test that has been done has come back normal except my cholesterol is slightly elevated but carotids are clear of plaque so who knows. I do know that I had 23 tubes of blood taken yesterday and have had twice that take in the past week. I feel about the same. Always exhausted. Blurred and dizzy. Handing out Halloween candy was frustrating. I missed the bag about as much as I got it in there. Argh! I do have a neurology appt on the 12th. Not much longer. Yesterday, my obgyn called because he had heard what had happened and he prayed with me over the phone. I am blessed with great doctors who truly care and I am so thankful God has blessed them with the gift a medicine and healing.

I think about my little girls often. I look at them differently now. I worry about Kaylee. She seems to be a little bit of a loner. She is precious. She is so nurturing. She loves to help others and is always thinking of everyone else. I know she is going to be a wonderful person. I hope that she stays true to her convictions in life. She writes music and stories and they are so sweet. She is an excellent big sister. I know her and Reese argue some but it is normal. She has been letting Reese sleep with her for a week and I promise that isn't easy. She loves little Becca to death and is her ultimate protector.

Reese is amazing in her own right. Yesterday she went with me to the lab and sat with wonder as the blood came out my arm. She helped the lady label them and was so caring. The other day she overheard me telling someone that I can't sleep without Phillip beside me and she said, "Mommy, Daddy is there to take care of you." She is a voice of reason. She is also hilarious. She always keeps us laughing. She is growing up so much. It is hard for me to picture her as a little girl. I just want to keep her small. I often tell her how special she is and that God knew that she would make a great big sister and little sister and that is why she is our middle child. She is a blessing no doubt.

And then there is sweet Becca. She gives the best hugs and kisses. She has become quite the little independent thing lately. She wants to do everything the big girls are doing. She hears them and runs to them. She gets her wii remote and 'plays' right along with them. She is doing some sign language and she knows what she wants and what she doesn't want.

And last but certainly not least, is my wonderful husband, who has chauffered me all around town for the past month. He has taken care of me and the girls as well as worked overtime at the church because that is what a pastor does. He is the most caring man of God. He seeks to serve the Lord in what ever way God calls him. He is so precious. He has led our family to serve God and keeps that at the forefront of our life. He is teaching my children to serve others and I am so thankful for that. It is sad that there are those out there that damage that but I know that is Satan attacking and we are beginning to almost be thankful for the tough times.

I wake up every morning and thank God for letting me wake up and ask how I can serve Him today. God has given me the gift of life and I will not let him down. I am still human and I know I will mess up but I am so thankful for His grace and His forgiveness. We should treat each day as it could be our last. I will glorify God through this storm in my life. I am really working on releasing my fear and learning to live again.